I’m almost halfway through being 21, an age I’m legally an adult and a
man. Having emerged from the tangled forest of adolescence I’ve learned
many lessons. I learned a lot of them through watching other people.
Some I just figured out through wisdom and insight and some were learned
through trial and errors.
Not saying I'm an expert though but I want to pass this wisdom down to fellow young guys like me hopefully they have a bit more of a roadmap to help guide them than I did.
1. Some people should be kept at arm’s length.
It’s a good thing to show love and compassion to people. It's good to be friendly but it’s also important to understand who should be in your inner circle and who you should keep at a distance or even avoid. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Destructive people are out there. The sooner you spot who they are and where they should fit in your life the better.
People are going to do you wrong and hurt you. No matter what you do, you will be hurt by someone at some point and that’s often out of your control but what you do in the aftermath is entirely in your hands. Holding grudges never does anyone any good. It’s self destructive and can even seep over into relationships that have nothing to do with the person who hurt you. That said, that doesn’t mean that you should necessarily let them back into your life right after. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt and grudge, not about completely forgetting and pretending it didn’t happen.
3. First impressions are more important than you can imagine.
You only have a chance to make a good impression, so putting your mind toward it is always your best option. From dressing decently and speaking articulately to standing tall and making eye contact. The way you present yourself is the way people will see you and the way people see you will determine how they treat you and the opportunities they give you. Make sure you make a powerful impression.
4. It’s good to take risks and be bold.
Most of the best things in life usually comes with a risk. Know how and when to take risks. Be wise and strong enough to invest where necessary and be bold enough to take on challenges you encounter.
5. Being real is more important than being posh.
“You’re such a genuine guy,” is my favorite compliment. This to me is so much better than being told I’m posh. Real people see, recognize and are drawn to authenticity. Believe it or not, most people, especially girls, can tell exactly when you’re faking or trying too hard. If you want to draw the right people to you, then just be real with yourself and them, instead of putting up a facade in order to look cool or to be accepted. Being cool is for a moment, but authenticity lasts for a lifetime.
Simply put, don't chase people - man or woman, rather be yourself and invest more in yourself and the right people will come around you. Chasing people leads you to the wrong people and puts you at a huge loss.This also applies to relationships
6. Don't do drugs
Drugs make your mind perverted and your sense of judgement corrupted not to talk of the terrible health effects of drug intake. It's not for men with ambition to take drugs, give drugs to men who have decided to wallow in mediocrity and scornful living.
Moreover smoking causes impotence in men. Hope you quit smoking after reading this.
7. Other people can’t heal or fix you.
Your friends, family and romantic relationships can help you. They can speed up the healing process, support you when things are bad and guide you towards where you should go. They can reveal truths to you that maybe you couldn’t see. But in the end, when dealing with deep internal wounds and life establishment, no one can actually fix you. That part is on you and your God.
8. The world doesn’t owe you anything.
You’re not owed stuff and things simply by virtue of existence. Life tends to give back what you put into it. The people who always get the most seem to be in my experience, those who give the most freely. So, instead of walking around with an entitled mindset, try to figure out what you can contribute.
9. Just because it “feels right” doesn’t mean it is.
A lot of people will abandon their previously set moral boundaries because something “feels right.” Sometimes things feel right in the moment and are simply destructive in the long run. Feelings are important but acting out entirely on them is a path to destruction.
10. The future is a reality.
You’ll hear a lot about “live in the present,” and you definitely should, but living in the present also comes with the responsibility of making choices right now that will affect your tomorrow. Living in the present is not permission to live like tomorrow doesn’t exist because when it comes around, it can be a rude awakening.
11. Control your sexual urges
Sex isn't everything. It has no profit nor reward. Early and uncontrolled sex makes you inactive towards aspects of your life that needs your energy and attention and an inactive man is an unhappy man - a loser. It also makes you more liable to have an unhealthy marriage later in life.
God forbid we be counting sex partners while our mates are counting money.
Don't rush into sex or make it a priority else you will find it very difficult to attain greater heights in your life which will lead you into depression and regrets especially when you see your mates ahead of you. There is a lot of time for sex after marriage.
12. Your value is everything
I don't know much about ladies but for a guy, you're only followed, respected and regarded by your value - what you can offer. A man with less or no value is looked down by society. A man creates himself not finds himself. Daily exercise in self-control, knowledge and wealth acquisition gradually creates improvements in your worth. Don't underestimate that. You're meant to be a leader in your home so invest in yourself in order for you to lead well.
The lifestyle of a man largely depends on IQ and a higher level of intelligence leads to a better lifestyle for him. Your intelligence and energy is everything. Work on that.
13. You aren't the first to face your difficulties
Most men today think that they have it harder than previous generations did but it is not true. If you could make it to where you are now, you can still do better. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure.
Be strong and keep hustling. Lessen your gratification and double your hustle. Remember energy and persistence conquers all things.
14. Be careful with women
Do not give your strength to women. Don't love women you can't trust. Study any woman you want to settle down with and don't ignore the red flags you find. You do this for the future you so that you won't find yourself in troubles you could have avoided.
Do not make your woman your superior rather see her as your daughter. Love her and correct her when she errs. Any woman who doesn't respect you shouldn't be in your life. You're the one marrying her and paying the bride price. Don't settle for less.
15. Give attention to your wife and children
Children turn out better when they have the attention of their parents - when they parents spend quality time with them. As children need mother's love and attention, they also need father's care and attention. Have time for them and converse with them. Sometimes children wish their parents had more open conversations with them. Same applies to your wife. Pay attention to her.
Courtesy - Mikester